Mom Vs Maid

There's this video that's been circulating over social medias about how maids know more about the kids than their own moms.I could only bring myself to watch halfway through the interview.It breaks my heart into tiny pieces!

Well,mostly because it resonates well with me!I have two kids and a helper at home to take care of them while i'm slaving away to the vicious,non forgiving corporate world.

Despite the obvious cons that the kids spend more time with the helper during the day,having a helper at home bring more pros.First,you don't have to worry about house chores and you actually have more time to spend with the kids after work.It's not about how long you spend time with the kids but how well you spend the time with them.

I'm probably in denial but i think i know my kids as much as my helper does.it does break my heart that sometimes my boy sleeps better when she puts him to sleep but my guts tell me,he fusses because he wants my attention.

This is probably the working mom guilt doing all the talking but if i can,i'd quit my job and raise them on my own but that is not the ideal situation.

Keep counting

In the moment of weakness shrouded by frustration and anger,counting your blessings just makes everything disappears.It reminds you how lucky you are to be bestowed with such blessings.So lucky,that possibly half of it you don't even deserved to begin with.

I keep telling myself it's not possible to have everything.The grass is NOT greener on the other side but its greener where you water it.

Work is truly major pain in the tush but let's just keep hoping for something good to turn out or this #IDGAF phase i'm in shall turn to #FTS phase!

Resolution

Oh,hello there.Greetings(if there is any soul reading)

what's up?just the normal routine in a working mom's day.work,play time and getting some much needed zzzz.

work?things get really crazy at work these days.with the whole downward turn of brent crude took a toll on my works.Budget revision,revisiting KBPI yada yada yada (ya' know,the boring stuff).The only thing that makes work bearable these days are my fitness classes time!started going to the classes for the past four weeks.

this shamoo needs to lose the excess kilos so bad!after two pregnancies,if i can sell off my fat,i'd probably be a millionaire!so,started going to sh'bam,body vive and alternating yoga classes in between.the most painful class?that's gotta be yoga.good news,i'm still flexible but bad news?my core was as bad as 50year old aunty!so i made it my resolution to strengthen my core and eventually,my whole body.(finger cross i won't give up halfway).

Trying to eat clean but everytime i wanna start off with breakfast,somehow like a person being hypnotized,i'm having nasi lemak for bfast!the regret only comes after i'm done with a packet of it!Diet police should come and arrest me.

As for weight loss?i try not to weigh myself as much.it's just numbers(more like i dont wanna scream my lungs out when i see the scale!).breastfeeding helps moms lose weight?that benefit of breastfeeding definitely eludes me.

so,let's hope i can continue with this journey and not stall or give up halfway!

till next time,folks.

Of Being a Mom

ok,first let me put it out there.I'm a working mom with two babies under two years old and we have a help at home.I'm pro-vaccine,i'm an exclusive pumping mom,i don't fixate on all natural birth.In fact,i begged for epidural for my second delivery but to no avail.i just hope all the judging of how moms navigate their ways through motherhood to STOP!capiche?

It irks me to no end that certains moms tried so hard to cement and shove their beliefs to other moms who don't conform to their ways.The eye-rolling,the forced advocacy made moms felt terrible about themselves.Motherhood ain't a competition who raises their kids better! There are more ways to raise a child than what you believe! Different circumstances permit different ways of raising a child.for instance,i exclusively pump and both of my babies refused to latch.I know with the right technique i could get them to directly feed but i choose to spend time playing with them,cuddle them than to take time teaching them to latch that usually ended up with both parties frustrated and in tears.and please be known that to exclusive pump took a lot of commitment and pain!And these so-called Legion of au naturale moms judged me like i'm too lazy.Good on ya that you came with your nipple blazing and your babies came out being obssesed with your boobs!mine just don't.It was heartbreaking at first but seeing they are growing up just fine,i'm fine too.direct feeding isn't the only way to bond with your child!duhhh.Your children are programmed to love their moms anyway!

At the end of the day,its always about the child.As long as you and your child are happy,that is all that matter.Screw the naysayers.The child doesnt come from their womb and its not them dealing with that child's tantrums.Your child,your way!

Milan's Grand Entrance

(Warning :if you're faint hearted or waiting for impending birth,skip this post by all means!what you're about to read definitely isn't rainbows and unicorns.)

So,at 37weeks i was sort of done being pregnant and i felt so tired!tried having pregnancies back to back.i felt like i was perpetually pregnant!Braxton Hicks at that point had became my new BFF.I had countless of false alarms and been to LR twice only to be sent back and just wait for it to happen.Honestly,i was so anxious and tired i didn't mind being induced there and then.But of course there was no way my gynae would induce me as i was still 2 weeks away from due date with no signs of Labour.

Lo and behold,at 38w3d i had my bloody show but still it wasn't sign of active labour.Went for a quick holiday with the in laws and walked a lot just to speed up the process but mehhh,still not progressing.

at 38w6d,went out for errands and had dinner.Around 10ish had contractions but i thought it was just BH and told myself i wasn't gonna fall for it,again!it got stronger and i couldn't sleep.Even in my 2nd pregnancy i couldn't tell the difference between real contraction and BH apart because i was induced for my 1st pregnancy.At 2am,i told bubs i couldn't take it anymore and we needed to go to Labour room.Still,in my head i had a feeling we would be sent back and didn't even bring hospital bags.

Got to Labour room,the midwife checked and i was 5cm dilated!I was elated knowing it would all be over soon and told myself to keep calm and ask for epidural.(i planned to get epidural since i knew i was pregnant).But because i was already 5cm dilated,they couldn't give me epidural and could only give me Pethidine  or just take the ethonox gas.Contractions were really painful!i was a crybaby and begged the nurse to give me pethidine even i was already 7cm.mehhh,pethidine was no help at all.just made me really sleepy.

at 10am,OBgyn came in and told me i was fully dilated and ready to push.i was still sleepy from the painkiller but pushed anyway.Again,the baby needed to be vacuum as he was still quite far up and delaying the push could cause stress to the baby and of course i had to have episiotomy to accomodate the vacuum.

Few strong pushes and pulls,the boy finally made his entrance!wanted to do DCC but uh oh,there was a slight problem,his cords were wayyy too short.No skin to skin time and hubs was chased away from the room.And the real blood and gore episode began.i couldn't deliver the placenta naturally as the cords were broken into 3 pieces!so,another epi to get that thing out!did i tell you the OB used his hand to grab the placenta?oh yes,he did.felt like a thanksgiving turkey being stuffed!it was super painful and i could only take the laughing gas.the were so much blood and the LR looked like a scene from Texas Chainsaw Massacre!got stitched and i was feeling real sore from all the pushing.Went up to the ward,i was feeling woozy and light from the pethidine and laughing gas.

But when i held my baby boy in my arms,the pain was all worth it.There he was my healthy 3.1kg boy.With the whole traumatizing experience,i think i'm done with pregnancy and delivery for now.Let's wait 3,4 years before i'm back in the game.

Btw i really do feel that Male OBGYN does a better job than Female OBGYN.Mine was Dr Zamri from DEMC and he was very gentle and very meticulous.His stitch works was awesome too.For my first born,it took about more than two weeks for my stitch to heal and for the sore to go away.but this time around,it only took about 10days and i had no complain!

Baby No.2

*wipes cobwebs and dusts* 

again,my resolution to blog as often as i could came to a complete failure.Not sorry about it though.In between giving birth,breastfeeding and running after a year old,momma ain't got time.

let's cut to the chase.Alhamdullilah,our little boy is here to join our little awesome clan.Gave birth on 23rd Oct 2014 at 10.39am to a 3.1kg boy.I'll save the whole blood and gore of the delivery episode later.

Alhamdullilah that our little boy is all healthy.He is our perfect little boy.He fusses a little bit but babies are fussy creatures so i'll take that any day.

After a long list and arguments of possible names,we decided on Nik Milan Yusuff.if you think for a second that we named him after the football club,then you are wrong as you can be.(Hubs is Real Madrid and Chelsea's fan btw).Milan in old chechen/slavic language means "Loving and kind" and Yusuff is simply because we aspire him to be as great as the prophet.

and here is the precious boy: 

three quarter cooked

I'm 34weeks along and to be completely honest,i feel so done being pregnant!6 weeks to go but that feels like a lifetime.the reason i'm feeling like this is probably because of work.

i feel so done with all the crazy,insignificant workloads and having a workaholic ladyboss is definitely not helping at all.i'm throwing my PPA out of the window.screw appraisals and work!

to top it off,being apart from myreen just drives me off the wall.i'm a huge emotional ball right now.i know its bad for the baby but i can't help it!

my internal transfer didn't happen and that frustrates me the most.i know there's silver lining to all of this,but right now i'm too devastated to actually see it.knowing that right after maternity i'll still be in that position bums me out!

My enthusiastic,perky self is long gone.